The Error Drabbles
by Desari
Summary: Started off as a oneshot drabble, but I got a few other ideas, so here we are with a growing set.
1. Not so peachy keen

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a severly warped sense of reality.

Jareth was pacing and muttering to himself.

"Stupid. Why'd I have to go with a peach? There's dozens of other fruits. Hell, even a mango would have worked. Maybe a kiwi. Yeah, a kiwi woulda worked. Nice and bright, tasty. Or a banana. No, too suggestive. An orange? No, not the same affect. Definitely shoulda gone with the kiwi.

Meanwhile Sarah continued her on her way through the Labyrinth, completely puzzled over Hoggle's joyful reaction when she told him she was allergic to peaches.


	2. Nauseating Chilly

Ok, for this one to make sense you'll need to check out the full lyrics for Chilly Down (With The Fire Gang)at **STLYRICS-DOT-COM** under Labyrinth, otherwise it's liable to go straight over your head. It's not as good as chapter one, but when I saw my sister's reaction to the lyrics I couln't resist. She looked completely nauseated. _smirk_

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Sarah stared at the insane little orange things surrounding her.

_What the hell are these guys on,_ was the only thought that came to mind as sang and tossed their heads and other assorted body parts about.

As the song continued on Sarah began to get a little green. By the time they reached a line about "Ball playing" she was ready to bolt. The final straw came with the line "Mackin' sex appealing". Sarah whirled around, bolted to the nearest tree, bent over and hurled.

The fierys stopped and stared, completely grossed out.

"Man, lady. You sure know how to kill a buzz." one grumbled.

With those final words they left to find their stash and get their buzz back.

**_Meanwhile:_** Jareth sat watching the entire thing through on of his crystals, looking not a little nauseated and once again muttering to himself.

"I need to have a talk with those miscreants about the lyrics to that song. I do wish to keep my Labyrinth PG after all. And the thought of them being sexy is just... disgusting. _I_ am sexy. They have all the sex appeal of a muppet! Yes, have to get them to change that song...

**_Back in the Labyrinth:_** Sarah wiped her mouth and looked around, immensely relieved to find no fierys around. One more verse of that song and she would have been begging them to take off _her_ head.


	3. Temp Trouble

_Summary_: The little blue worm was a temp and didn't catch Sarah before she took the path straight to the castle. This one came to me in a bout of extreme feminism brought on by dealing with teen-aged boys. Let me just say this: BIG KISSES TO ALL THE MATURE TEEN-AGED BOYS OUT THERE!

I'm currently takng suggestions for new drabbles, and I will be sure to give credit where credit is due for them.

Thanks to everyone for their wonderful reviews.

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Had it been anywhere else but the Labyrinth, the sight of a man talking to a little blue worm would have been reason eough to call the men in white coats. As it was, it was still slightly unusual for Jareth to have a reason to converse with the little creature.

"You have a very simple job here! Help them get in if they ask, and make sure they don't take the left path. Is that so hard?", Jareth ranted.

"No, your magesty.", came the subdued reply.

"Then tell me why exactly you thought it was a good idea to let your husband sit in for you today?", Jareth bit out.

"Well, your majesty, one of the little ones was down with a nasty bug. My husband just got over it, and we couldn't risk him catching it again, so I stayed in with the children, and he took over for the day."

Jareth felt some of the steamgo out of his anger.

"Alright. I can understand if the little one was sick, but from now on either find a good baby-sitter or a decent temp or I'll find a replacement myself!", Jareth warned before vanishing in an amount of glitter that would make a three-year-old proud.

The worm wandered back inside her home and informed her husband of what had happened, which caused him to wonder who would sit on babies and why anyone would want them to.


	4. Closeted subconcious

I blame this one on my horomonal younger sister. She just swears up and down that Sarah wanted Jareth to look so feminine (her words) because she was subconciously in the closet.

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Whoever decided that the Labyrinth should change to suit the wisher ought to be taken out and beaten...wait, that was him.

Jareth understood the theory behind it, really he did. It was meant to teach a lesson, and to make it nearly impossible to beat the crazy maze. But he didn't see why the Labyrinth felt the need to extend that theory to his wardrobe.

Unfortunately, it did. And as Jareth stood in his uncomfortable tights, with blue streaks in his hair, he couldn't help but wonder at the orientation of a girl who wanted a man wearing tights, glitter, hair paint, and more eye make-up that a two-dollar hooker.


	5. It's a crystal and now it's not

Don't ya just love bonus features? You can see all sorts of outtakes and get all sorts of ideas.

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"Look Sarah, I've brought you a gift."

"What is it?"

"It's a crystal, but if you turn it this..." **_--CRASH-- _** "SHIT!"

Sarah looked at the shattered crystal on the floor, then back up to the Goblin King.

"Ummm, look. I'll give you your brother back right now if you agree to never tell _anyone_ about this. Deal?"

"Deal."

Jareth snapped his fingers and disappeared, leaving behind one crying baby and one very disillusioned teenager.


	6. Interview with a Jedi master

_**Okay, the next few chapters are turning into crossovers. Let's just say the reasoning behind this involves my twenty-first birthday and an internet recipe for pangalacrtic gargleblasters. I am never drinking again. Thanks for all the reviews and suggestions. Oh and Sith Rahl, thanks for that mental image of Jareth juggling his balls. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.**_

**Attention all dimensions, realities, and galaxies- The underground kingdom of the Labyrinth is now hiring. To apply please simply wish yourself into the employment offices with your resumes for interviews. Thank You.**

Jareth stared at the small green creature in front of him and smiled a wicked smile.

"Well, your resume is very impressive. All that is needed now is for you to undergo a small test. I need to know if you can handle working with goblins without suffering a mental breakdown. All you will need to do is remain in this room with a few of my more annoying minions for about an hour. Are you ready?"

The little creature nodded.

"All right, then. I'll just send them in."

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When Jareth returned to the room an hour later he found the strangest sight. The little green creature was sitting in the center of the room with the twenty or so goblins he had sent in floating about his head. As Jareth gaped open-mouth at the scene the goblins gently lowered to the floor and ran out of the room in terror.

The little creature took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and spoke for the first time during the interview.

"Come with dental, this job does, yes?"


	7. Hero complex

"Alright Mr.….Grover, everything seems to be in order. The only thing I found odd is these small periods of unexplained absences. Might I ask what exactly you were doing?

Grover looked the Goblin King up and down.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked in a dramatic whisper.

Jareth raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"I was busy helping the world as… Super Grover!"

Jareth kept a semi-polite smile on his face as he thanked the little creature and assured him that he would be contacted if a suitable position was found. As soon as he was alone, though, Jareth quickly set the resume in the "no way in hell" pile.

One subject with a hero complex was quite enough.


	8. Magic Dilemmas

Last chapter everybody. It's been a blast.

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"So mister…Potter, it says here you're a quite the wizard."

"I am. Now if you would kindly explain what the hell I am doing here."

Jareth smirked.

"It appears one of your teachers decided you'd look better as a goblin, a mister Snape I believe."

Harry scowled before leaning back in his chair. He knew, of course, how the Labyrinth worked. They'd covered the subject in fifth year.

"Is the bastard even going to attempt to get me out of here?"

"Oh he did try; I believe his time ran out while he was busy with a peach."

Harry hesitated a moment before asking, "Do I even want to know what could distract him so well?"

Jareth's smirk intensified as he began to describe a scene involving the potions master, Draco Malfoy, and various items of leather and chains.

In his opinion, Harry made a very satisfying thud as he fainted dead away.

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Meanwhile Snape was busy desperately trying to explain to Dumbledore exactly why he'd failed in rescuing the wizarding world's only chance of stopping Voldemort.


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